You can stop a divorce on your own.  If your marriage is in trouble, you need to learn how to save your marriage alone.  It might seem too good to be true, but it can happen.  In fact it happens all the time.  Let’s talk about why it works and how you can get started.

For a long time, the conventional wisdom argued that the only way to stop a divorce was to get both parties in the marriage working together.  The “it takes two to tango” theory makes sense, at face value, but when you look a little closer, you’ll find that it isn’t really a winner when it comes to saving marriages.  Here’s just one example:  According to one noted relationship expert, couple’s therapy only works about 20% of the time.  That’s right, 20%.  That’s among couples using the most common traditional strategy for preventing a divorce, working together.  Those are horrible odds.

On the other hand, there are methods designed for one spouse to use to save a marriage that boast success rates in excess of 80%.  That’s four times as effective as couple’s therapy.

Learning how to save a marriage alone works because that mindset recognizes that a change in one part of a marriage naturally causes changes in other aspects to occur.  It’s sort of like a ripple effect.  Another good analogy is an algebra problem.  If you alter the value on one side of the equation, it automatically changes the value on the other side.  You don’t need “two to tango”.  You need one person who wants to shift the nature of a marriage to stop a divorce.

So, how can you get started?  Where do you start if you want to save a marriage alone?  Well, don’t rely on hunches or guesswork.  Go out there and get your hands on some  expert guidance by an experienced professional who has made studying marriages and divorce their career.  You can save a marriage if you go about it the right way.

Even though you might be a very smart person, you are not a professional.  You haven’t made figuring all of this out your life’s work.  Rely on expert guidance to help you save your marriage.

You don’t want to see your special relationship implode.  You don’t want to watch your dreams, hopes, and commitment wither up and die in a divorce court.  You don’t want the trauma.  You don’t want the disappointment and sorrow.  You want to prevent a divorce and the good news is that you can find out how to save your marriage alone.

By: Syd McKeever

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Whether you call it an ethical will, a spiritual will or a spiritual ethical will, these documents are quickly becoming more popular than the traditional legal documents that have a tendency to be sterile. However, I recently came across a blog discussion about the legality of ethical wills, so I thought it would be a good time to clear up the confusion.

What Is an Ethical Will?

There are numerous variations of ethical wills, just like there are variations of last wills and trusts. The most basic type of ethical will is the ethical letter. These letters are usually designed to deliver intimate information to a specific person or group of people. They generally do not contain a list of inheritance or promises of items from the estate. At the other end of the spectrum is the full spiritual ethical will and trust. These documents combine the ethical transmission with guidance about how the estate is to be handled and disbursed.

Is Your Ethical Will Legal?

The legality of your ethical will is going to depend on several factors. First of all, ethical wills in all formats are legal to write, but some are not considered legally binding documents. This is because some variations of ethical wills, usually the ethical letters, do not contain all of the information needed to execute an estate and because of this, they are not viewed as a legal document, even if they promise a portion of the estate to the recipient of the letter. On the other hand, ethical wills that contain all of the required elements of a last will and trust can be considered a legally binding document.

Making Your Ethical Will a Legally Binding Document

When the court system evaluates the legality of your ethical will they are going to look for signs that you intended the ethical will to be your last will and trust. To make it easy for the courts to determine that your ethical will is indeed your last will and trust is to state that that is your intention at the beginning of the document. A simple state such as, “this is my last will and trust…”

Another way to ensure that your ethical will is viewed as a legally binding document is to have an attorney help you complete the financial and legal segments of your will and then simply supplement the legal stuff with your ethical letters and materials.

By: Barbara Morgan

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Life is beautiful but never guaranteed. Death is inevitable and may come at any time. However, despite this suddenness, it is possible to plan for family members and loved ones before this happens. Writing a will solves almost all legal complications after death. It is advisable to hire a will writing service and draft a legal declaration of how possessions are to be distributed or disposed after death.

People may decide to draft a will on their own in the presence of adult witnesses. However, self-made wills are not valid in all states. This could lead to complications and property could be litigated. At times, possessions even end up as state belongings. For the well being of loved ones, a valid will should be drafted. People refrain from doing so because of the costs of hiring legal services. For this reason a number of free will services have evolved.

An increasing number of lawyers are providing free last will and testament packages. This is done keeping in mind future profitability. Most free will lawyers draft wills wherein clauses containing their involvement in all future dealings are included. This makes the testator, i.e., the person making the will, dependant upon the lawyer for any discussion.

A free will forces family members and beneficiaries to consult a lawyer regarding any legal dealings for years to come. While drafting free wills, lawyers have been known to manipulate documents. These may not have serious repercussions but they secure lifelong involvement that comes with a certain fee. A number of lawyers are known to make will files. In simple terms, it means they draft numerous free will packages to gain popularity in the market, which in turn guarantees success for the lawyer.

Nowadays there are a number of websites that provide free last will and testament packages. When lawyers and legal services offer free wills, it is inclusive of a few services. This includes handling distribution clauses and guardianship clauses. This is because in most free will services, the provider acts like the executor of the will.

By: Josh Riverside

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Or are you confused by the signs you are receiving? Do you know the three warning flags of divorce? If you do, you may be able to intervene before it happens.

1. Lack of Communication

Your marriage may be over if your spouse is no longer talking and sharing the way she used to. This behavior means something is going on. If it is work that is distracting the person, she will tell you and you will still have your moments of closeness. But if she wants to be left alone to watch TV, or wants to go off by herself to get lost in an activity, or prefers being with a friend instead of being with you…and she is not talking to you when she could, you need to act now. Silence will not make the two of you grow closer.

2. Finding Fault

You’ll know when your marriage is heading to “over” when he continually finds fault with you. Did your lover used to find everything perfect with you? Were you flooded with terms of endearment, words of commitment and love, and tokens of appreciation? Do you now experience a gaping distance the size of the Grand Canyon? And when your spouse speaks, is it to tell you what is wrong with you? If your lover used to find everything about you to be wonderful and now everything is awful, this is a big red flag. He or she is on a fault finding mission so he won’t feel so guilty about what he is doing or what he is about to do. Mainly…he is looking for a reason and a way out.

3. Lack of Intimacy

When a marriage is almost over, some people have reported that when their spouse was having an affair, they were having more sex at home than usual. But often, it is the other way around. Your partner may pull away, distance himself, and come up with excuses about why he doesn’t want sex. If you used to have great intimacy–hugs, kisses, sex, conversations, and hand holding, and that has faded away and is no longer the usual behavior, it means he has emotionally pulled away, and soon, may be walking out.

Is your marriage over? If any of the above three conditions exist, it probably is. Sit down and talk and try to get the person to open up. If he or she won’t, schedule an appointment with a counselor immediately. Share openly about what is going on. Do not be afraid to confront this. Living with the above three conditions can leave you stressed and make you crazy. Get some help now. You deserve it!

By: Tonja Weimer

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You’re divorced and you have kids. How do you handle different rules and discipline between mom’s house and dad’s house? Do you have any say about what goes on in the other parent’s home anymore?

Here’s how one of my readers expressed her frustration:

“My two children are with my ex every other weekend and they have a totally different set of rules in his house than in mine. They stay up late, eat a lot of sugar, homework never seems to get done, and they have no discipline. When they get back to my house, my children are irritable, overtired and rude. They seem to take a full day before they settle back in. What can I do?”

It’s not uncommon for the difference in parenting styles between parents to become glaringly obvious after separation. Children, depending on their age, usually do experience some transition time to get used to the unique rhythms of each household.

Ultimately, all you’re really able to control is being clear about the expectations you have for your children and being consistent with them. You have little control over what happens “over there” at your ex-partner’s house. (Unless there is reason to believe your children’s lives are being endangered, in which case you need to speak to your ex and/or call the appropriate authorities).

With the homework issue, for example, let your children know that they are responsible for getting their own homework done in time for school regardless of whether they are at mom’s or dad’s house. Teach them about the importance of good nutrition. Children figure out pretty quickly how to play one parent off the other, so let them know they have certain responsibilities they need to meet.

You can also set up a discussion with your ex to discuss the transition between houses. Approach it with the intention of seeking cooperation. Always keep your children’s best interests in mind. After all, you’re no longer married but you’ll always be parents so in the long-run you need to learn how to co-parent together.

Leave any editorializing or judgment out. For example, “Aren’t you paying any attention? These kids are cranky and running wild at your house!” is not likely to foster open dialogue.

Be factual and describe what you see. Try something like, “When the kids come back to my house, they appear overtired and don’t have their homework done. They have a hard time getting to school the next day. How can we address this issue?” This opens the door to open communication and problem-solving.

Remember, you must also be open for feedback on what’s going on at your house from your ex as well. Part of having an effective communication with your ex includes you listening.

By: Carolyn Ellis

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